How Do We Develop Social Skills Online?

Rogelio Valdés

Mar 25, 2022

When we were designing the methodology for our school, one of our biggest concerns was the social-emotional development of children.

How can we build social skills online? If we truly want to prepare students for the future, it is not enough to deliver content. They also need to know how to relate to others and how to work as a team.

This happens very naturally in person. It can be as simple as asking a classmate to borrow a pencil, sitting next to someone and talking, or realizing another student likes the same game you do. These are social experiences that happen almost automatically, with very little planning from the school. In those moments, children learn to talk with others, share opinions, listen, disagree, and work through differences. But when we move into an online setting, many of those natural experiences disappear.

We realized we needed to design specific activities and dynamics to foster social-emotional development online. That is why we use debates, games, business case discussions, simulations, and challenges across different topics. They may look like recreational activities from the outside, but they are much more than that.

In recent months, we have watched students build strong friendships with children who live in different cities and even different countries. What I enjoy most is seeing how mature their conflict resolution has become. They have learned to speak respectfully, identify their emotions, and show empathy toward others.

When I compare this with my own childhood experience, I cannot imagine having those same kinds of conversations with classmates in elementary or middle school. I think the key lies in how social-emotional skills are actually acquired. In a traditional school, social interaction happens naturally, so it often goes unplanned. There is recess, group work, and play, but these spaces are not intentionally designed to teach these skills. If a student is left alone during recess, for example, nothing is usually done to integrate them because that is not the explicit goal. In our case, because social interaction did not happen automatically online, we had to design it.

The good news is that this can also be replicated in traditional or in-person systems. It simply requires other schools to adopt a more intentional view of group activities. These are some of the points we consider when designing those experiences:

Everyone participates. That is why smaller groups of 5 to 10 students work best.

Every student must be listened to carefully during their turn to speak.

We assign time limits of 1 or 2 minutes per participant so everyone has room.

The mentor acts as a moderator. They do not judge or push students toward a particular conclusion.

We choose topics that are genuinely interesting to the group. The primary goal is not checking off a specific curriculum requirement, but strengthening social-emotional development. That can happen through almost any topic.

Activities need to feel challenging. There is a key point where students feel challenged and motivated, whether the task is reaching an agreement, solving a puzzle together, forming an alliance, or earning points as a team.

These design principles are not tied to one particular activity. They can be applied in collaborative projects, games during recess, or any other classroom dynamic. What matters is not losing sight of the goal: active social-emotional education.

We are trying to create situations students will eventually face in real life. When we design these activities, we ask ourselves questions like: what should we do when someone disagrees with us? How can I persuade others of my ideas? How do I identify conflict inside a team? How do I deal with my own emotions?

Sometimes adults are afraid to expose students to these kinds of questions, or they want to avoid conflict at all costs. It is common to separate two students completely when they have a personal issue, but the best way to learn is by doing. We need to expose students to these situations, and the ideal place to do it is in a safe environment like school, guided by a mentor, as a teacher should be. On top of that, these are activities built around a shared challenge or purpose. When there is a common objective, it becomes much easier to work through conflict.

If you want to learn more about our school methodology or apply similar ideas in your own classroom, you can visit the Robin blog, where we share what we do at robinacademy.com/blog.